Happy New Year! The Moon is in Virgo today, where she likes our feelings to be practical and logical. But emotions don't always conform to Virgo's fussiness. This can be somewhat problematic today as the Moon forms a tense square with both loving Venus and powerful Pluto, who themselves are drawing closer to each other. Today foreshadows a pending emotional meltdown, unless we can find the courage to talk about our hidden fears. If we are able to set the year off on an honest note, love and intimacy may be just around the corner.

Aquarians:

Disruptions happen to you Aquarians for a reason, usually to express something that has been hidden. Perhaps you've been trying to be socially acceptable, trying to fit into a specific situation. Now, something happens and you momentarily snap. Others see your actions as obtrusive, but if you think about it, you'll see that you've made your point.

So why does the one guy that i want that i thought wanted me make himself so untouchable

why? there are like 3 guys at my door that would treat me well but i dont want them im to buissy thinking about you and i dont want to anymore
i wanna be done
but then i think it could change
then i wonder if i want it to
i keep thinking i should move on but i dig him my heart calls out for him
I dont want it to but it does
I hate it I love it

what i really wish is that i could really open up my heart with out the fear of being hert cause i knew i would get hurt in this but i didnt just wanna know you
i knew when i met you We would be cool
and we have been seing eachother for 4 months and nothin but i dont wanna girl i have to keep tabs on
at first he thought I was the coolest girl and he didnt know you could be so chill with someone

when did life get to be like that for him
how could you let yourself keep that kind of outlook
even after my last and shitiest relationship i fixed myself

you should wanna call your girl to drop a line say hi see how she is doing
not because you HAVE to keep tabs on her

i wanna be in a fun relationship where there is lots of smiling and doing stuff together because we enjoy each others company
I have been there i know it is possible

I just had my dog in for sergery

I cried when i droped him off (not sobbed but shed a few tiers)
"what if its the last time i see him" my mind playes over and over because i have lost a dog before just getting his teeth cleaned...

My Mom picked him up for me because i was at work....I came home and He would not look at me. I have never seen him mad at me before. I cant get him to drink water, but he ate a little food and i gave him a pain pill. he seems better, but he has just crashed Hard and I really hope he is going to feel better tomarrow

I feel so BAD! I'm sorry puppy he just wants me to make it feel better and I'm trying

=o(

Well I'm still trying to figure out what to do....a card maybe Hmmmmmm

WOW. First off? I don't have ANY other enemies besides ERICA and her clan, and Todd. And I know it wasn't Todd. So who does that leave? If people want to talk shit to me, DO IT, I can take it, I'm a big girl who has been through a lot of stuff, and some "random" person on LJ talking shit isn't going to exactly slow me down. So atleast have the nerve to say who you are. Secondly? Pick another entry to bring drama in besides a entry about my father getting into a severe car wreck. Nobody should hate anybody enough to bring death upon them OR their family - and if you hate me THAT much over stuff that probably doesn't even involve you? Seak help before you not only hurt someone else but yourself, you sick bastard.

My bro's girl started a live journal.
I noticed recently she decided to delete her Journal, I wasnt shure why at all.
My brother told me earlyer this week that she had come to him and said she had "done somthing bad"
I was like what? ok...
he then told me that she had written some nasty stuff to Kodi...
I was like REALLY thats strainge, "she said its a screened comment so she will have to read it and I'm sure wont post it".
I never thought Debbie would do somthing like that, I guess she read somthing that stood out to her. I'll have to ask tomarrow...

but I guess thats why she deleted her Journal....CRASY!

You dont have to read about my sex life...

So I went to JJs like I always have been on Monday night. I was bummed though because he had to work late and we couldnt hang tomarrow like we had planned. But we could chill and its better than nothin, Im not about stressing things.

He unexpectedly(shit i cant spell) Called me Tuesday(i think thats right)
it was really nice to get a bit more time in with him. I brought some shows over to wach with him, but we just finnished a bowl when we were all over each other.....He crashed hard Monday night so we didn't get anything goin on. which is cool, im a girl so its not like i have to have sex. the next morning he wouldnt let me get up, he kept grabing me and pulling me back to bed.(that kind of stuff is sweet)
but i was so stoked that i got to have sex with him, i took advatage of him the next morning. He didnt mind at all...=P
when the crazy retail season is over for him, and he doesnt work 6 days a week. i will be more about trying to go do more with him, or i might have to move on. I would totaly wanna be friends may be still see each other but I cant be tied to him for no reason. but Im in no hurry for a crazy relationship, or some other crazy person. So I dont see why I should be running away yet, but of corse there is always the potental to get hurt.

Oh Well Im just seeing how stuff turns out i'm not to worried about it.=P
what happens will happen, I'll just enjoy the ride.
Discover me discovering you...

I spent turky day at my grandma's house had dinner with her and my mom. At some burnt ass chicken and said "I loved it".
My turky day is officaly tomarrow with my bro and grandpa and grandma...
GOOOD TIMMMES
I helped her put up some decorations, and i bought her a little rosemary buch that she could use as a X-mas tree(she said she didnt want one)

I got it at whites nursery with my Mom the other day. I also got a Bonsai Tree! Im excited! I think i killed the last one i had, but my heart wasnt really into it. I gotta try my best, it needs to be repoted. Should be a enlightening experience. cutting roots and finding the right pot. I can feel the good energy from it though, NICE!

gunna chill with Melani saturday! we are suppoesed to be going to the Yoga class The owner is teaching Aadil Palkivalha(i think thats how you spell it) its later like the 11th of Dec. she was bummed cause we missed the last yoga fest.

Yes!

My little dog is rippen BIG farts....be glad your not here =P

I started playin the game Black and White again. I didn't get very far last time before life took me away from my computer.

I had a good night I went to DQ for Ice Cream and played cards till they closed. we talked about all kinds of stuff when we got back to my house. about my dad and his work. Life...and more life.

It reminds me that yesterday, my mom told me that a relitive of ours shot himself. he had cancer for(I think she said)14 years. he couldnt take the pain anymore. I feel horible. How could in a world were people live so much longer. Not put people to sleep so they dont suffer any longer. We heal people so they live as full of a life as they can, I love that. Its to bad we also live in a world where we can not let go of life eather. I'm not trying to say I'm not scared of dead, I am terified! I also think part of the reason is I still have so much to accomplish in life. so much I have yet to do and experience.

Tomarrow I'm going to TUUUUBBBBSS with BJ gettin some LUNCH! Sean will be there, he is the Token black guy. fuckin cracks me up.

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I think I will try and catch a yoga class in the morning (may be Two);0)
I'm working Saturday. there is going to be a free class so it will be buisy, but I am looking forword to it.
I let it slip today to a teacher that I was thinking of joining the College. She got excited, but agred to keep it a secret. =P
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Today's General Overview

The Moon enters the compassionate feelings dimension of Pisces at 5:37 am EST. Our fantasies become more convincing and it can be difficult to distinguish them from reality. But it's not all about illusion, for we also are pushing into a harsh square today between sweet Venus and restrictive Saturn, making us acutely aware of the difficult path we have taken. The wake-up call we receive can force us to see things the way they truly are. We need to let the discouragement pass so that we can get on to what is next.


I just had a strainge thouught...what if something happened to me and my mom read my journal?

Well things have been layed back and straight forward

I LOVE IT! hangin with my friends and my brother. I stoped at my gradma's house on sunday and we had all kinds of good conversation. Wes, Mom, grandma and I are going to dinner tomarrow.
It should be ok, but my brother is skechin to say the least. Mostly cause we are going to Old Country Buffet, Or the "Trauf" as he calls it. Im shure that was the wrong spelling but hopfuly you get the Idea. Its no place fancy but it will make things cool and calm for thanks giving I think. Not that my grandma's a bad person, but she is racest against the human race. she says shit about everyone including me behind your back. EVEN MY MOM!
I'm Gunna hang with my friend BJ a little later may be grab some TUUUBBBBSSS (a bomb sub shop)watch a movie

I'm getting into the WHAT AM I GETTING PEOPLE FOR X-MAS MODE

*sometimes I like to read my horiscope for fun* =P
Your acute perspective allows you to be quite hopeful, no matter how bleak the emotional, social, political or global landscapes really are. It's not that your life has gone wrong. It's just that you are a hope fiend and you won't be satisfied now with less than what is possible. Don't stop in your pursuit of a more meaningful life for you and those in your community. Your persistence will pay off.

All circuits are firing now as sparks fly and wires fray from the increased juice feeding your nervous system. It's as if you've wet your fingers and stuck them into an electrical outlet. But it may not be as bad as it sounds. In fact, you can be brilliant now, for your mind is racing at twice the speed of light. Don't waste energy trying to stop the flow. Let go and enjoy the ride.

Oh and I am

Debbie i wish you called me about meditation I had no idea

on the up side I think there will be a drop in meditaion class after December at Yoga Centers!